He Said It

At the end of June, Wood and I were to meet with the Palliative Care Nurse that we were referred to by Grandma's doctor. Unfortunately, it was scheduled the day I had my emergency appendectomy, we had to cancel at the last minute. We finally had the meeting, with all three of us (Twig was at camp), a couple of weeks ago.

We talked all of the major issues - our stress level, our stress level, and our stress level. We really feel as though her health and lack of interest in anything besides sitting in the chair in the living room hinders our ability to do much. Unless it's a Tuesday or Thursday evening, or a Saturday morning when the Home Care Worker is with her, one of us must be home with her.

She hates to go out to eat unless Wood is there, she doesn't want to take a walk (I'm tired - from sitting?), and asks to leave if we are doing anything other than eating out. It was so difficult during the baseball season; she couldn't sit and watch the game. When Twig was acting with his traveling troupe, Wood and I could only go to a show together if grandma came. And the invitations to visit with friends as a family have lessened significantly because of grandmas needs.

We are tired and continually talk about how it seems that the living situation is good only for her. We all feel resentful of the constraints we are forced to contend with as her caretakers. We felt like having her living with us was the right thing to do. But as of today, Wood said we are starting the process of moving her to a facility.

Strangely enough, I don't feel good about it. But I am looking forward to it.