Paula in the Garden is a Beautiful Thing!

It's too bad it's been difficult for her to do for such a long time. She's fabuous at it. It's a passion of hers. And the two combined make for something truly amazing. I wish you could see. Maybe someday there will be a photo so you can.

Satya

he visits
his voice
his car
his eyes
face
tattoos
appear when I least expect them

his visits
full of love
as was he
they make me smile

but today the pain
is acute and
the tears stream down my face
amost as uncontrollable
and as fresh
as the day he killed himself

What a Bitch!

Stark-raving-immature-lunatic-bitch.

Not you. Me.

Instead of focusing on the fact that the laundry is done, I focus on the fact that 4 loads of washed and dried clothes are on the couch, unfolded and wrinkled. Not that Hubbie made sure that it was all done, but the fact that it wasn't done the way I want it to be done.

Even in the midst of it I know I'm having an immature, childish fit. I know that it's stupid. I know that I'm being a bitch. I know that I don't want to behave this way and/or be a bitch. Even still, the more I focus on what I think that I should be focusing on (the fact that for instance, the laundry is done and done is good, and/or the fact that I'm being childish expecting things be done my way all of the time) the more pissy I get.

I'm really tired from this past week's events. Being over tired is not good for me. Makes it extra difficult to be gracious and thankful. Believe it or not, I really am thankful for all of the things that I do have.

Among those things I'm thankful for: Twig hasn't had a fever since Saturday afternoon. Wood and he are out and about shopping so that I can clean the house. A clean house will help the pissies go away. Guess I'd better get to it.

F-in' Fever

I never made it to work on Thursday because Twig's fever made it to 104 during the day. We went to the Doctor's office again and they said we didn't really have much to worry about. Overall, he's doing well. If the fever is still high Sunday, we need to bring him in on Monday and they'd start doing tests.

Last night at about midnight Twig's fever reached 106 degrees. Scary. We promptly gave more medicine, forced water, and used cool washcloths on the back of his neck. We got it down to 105 in about an hour. Not surprisingly, I couldn't fall asleep very easily and didn't sleep very well when I did. I woke up at 3am to give meds and again at 6am to get ready for work.

I had to go to work today and the entire day was difficult. Because I had left my sick child at home. Not that Twig and Wood were together - it was that I left my sick son. As it turns out, they hit the zoo and had a great time. His fever didn't reach 103.2 until 2:30 in the afternoon.

He was a happy camper until I got home. Actually, he was very happy to see me when I showed up. He was quite cuddly and talkative until I started cooking for him. At which point he cried for about 15 minutes - a meltdown about pot stickers - go figure. But after a fair amount of [more] cuddling, he got himself together and ate the potstickers...Blood sugar must have been low. He's been happy ever since he finished eating.

He's been playing a little bit tonight and that's always a good sign. We're on our way to bed soon. Unfortunately, I have to work tomorrow.

Jeff Stryker Did HARD Time!!

Here's something I wrote oh, so long ago about a play that a friend and I attended in 1999. Wow, it's been a long time, friend. Miss you and our adventures (or misadventures?). Hope Portland is treating you well. xo.

Jeff Stryker toured in a 1998-99 stage show called "Jeff Stryker Does Hard Time" which was an erotic-comedy set in a prison. The show ended with a dance finale in which Stryker disrobed for the audience

______


OH, MY!

I love an adventure and I must say that this was definitely one! One I won't forget for some time. OH, MY!

Four of us walked into the theatre and we were 4 of, yes, 4 Women in the place. It was somewhat uncomfortable at first. It kinda felt like we were intruding on some private boy party.

The play was bad, the plot stunk, the acting was even worse but I guess the nudity made up for it (this one I'm still debating in my own mind). The story is set in Homo central"; SF County jail. The big news of the week is that Porn Star Jeff Stryker has asked to serve his time there and his request has been granted. The remainder of the "story" shows all of the gay guys fighting over the "bitch", myriad sexual acts (including a fairly explicit rape scene), frontal nudity and lots I MEAN LOTS of REALLY bad "gay" jokes. So bad, in fact, that there were some giggles and some "oh, ho"'s coupled with shaking heads and "oh, maahhan"'s.

Thougout, the plans for the inmates to produce "festival de la noche" were discussed and was the transition to the "attraction we'd all been waiting for". Jeff Stryker came onto the stage wearing only his Motorcycle boots and an erection! OH, MY! He poured and rubbed about a quart of oil on himself and proceeded to do a little dance (?well, not exactly a dance?). Masturbation describes it best. Flung his condom off into the crowd (EEEWWW) and just about the time I thought my friend was going to crawlout of her skin and need to be peeled off of the ceiling, HE JUMPED OFF OF THE STAGE AND (OH, MY) continued to do his dance for the audience up close and personal (he started with us). He paid special attention to a few of the women in the crowd, and I must say that at this point EVERYONE felt uncomfortable regardless of gender. Even the boys felt like they were intruding on some private party because he was running around giving the equivalent of lap dances. Thrusting his hips and providing an up close and personal introduction to his penis. I don't think anyone touched it, although one guy did touch his leg, so, you never know. He finished by waving (literally) himself a little closer than necessary at my friend and I (my friend absolutely LOVED it). I was, and still am, a little stunned. How is that possible? To maintain an erection for at least 10 minutes for complete strangers? Maybe I just answered my own question there. I would say that I got my $40 worth and it was one thick, long penis! Fairly attractive, as well (seriously)! As far as the penises of total strangers go.

HMMMM, what else can I say? Oh, after the show, he raced to the door to thank every person for attending the performance and making sure that they knew he hoped they had enjoyed themselves. As we left (OH, MY), he shook my hand, or I shook his, (HE's still NAKED) and then grabbed his penis and said "Oh look, have a head cold!" Then he shook my friend's hand. She's never going to wash it she's jsut going to smell it
for he rest of her life.

I swear, this experience was similar to that of being a teenager and seeing a penis for the first time! It was unreal! Like nothing I've ever experienced before! We laughed and laughed and giggled like pre-adolescents for the rest of the evening......

Childhood Sickness Syndrome

Happy and Healthy TwigTwig - Not so happy. Not so healthy.

Fever was 103.8 this morning. Isn't going down too much even with fever reducer.
We're forcing juice water and veggin' in front of the tube like we never, ever do.
Papi is coming home from work early so that I can go in late.

Sick-O-Rama

Okay, we're not over whatever this sickness is... Fever of102.3 started last night and even with a couple of doses of meds hovered around 101 through this morning. By lunch time today it had spiked to 104.3 but did finally respond to fever reducer and is back in the 102 range.

Our Doctor said today that all of the stool tests came back negative. No salmonella or other serious intestinal yuckies breeding in there. While this is good, good, good, our weekend ER adventure is still without explanation. In terms of what is happening now we can't be sure that it's even related, I guess. But she said that we are to take him in immediately if he has 1) severe stomach pain 2) blood in his stool or 3) a fever of 102 for 5 days. Oy! Please, no!

I had hoped to work from home today but Twig hasn't been comfortable enough to sleep - even in the car or on me and this is unusual on both accounts. He's chillin with Dora, Bene, and Boots at the moment, swiggin some grape juice-water every now and again trying to stave off dehydration. Not an issue that I couldn't work from home, my brain just can't wrap itself around developing policies and procedures and being aware enough to focus on child (sick or not) at the same time anyway. Multi-tasking anything else would be absolutely no problem. When it comes to my baby - everything and everyone else can wait. Thank goodness my new employer is pretty cool about it. It helps that I've been kicking ass and taking names since the moment I started working there.

Fruit

He hasn't experienced any tummy problems for at least 24 hours.

He did fall at school today and has a lovely raspberry on his forehead.

When I saw it, my heart ached just as much as it did while we were at the Emergency Room on Saturday.

It won't ever go away, will it?

The ache of love, I mean.

Holding Our Breath, But Not For Much Longer

All is pretty much well in the Tummy Neighborhood of Twig. He had a fever last night of nearly 102 but it was lessened with medicine and didn't return after it's initial debut.

We went to see our regular Doc today who didn't seem to be too concerned about the entire ordeal - as it is today that is. Twig was pretty happy at the office. But, I know he's not completely better. His energy is a bit low, he isn't eating like usual, and he's got those circles under his eyes. He's talking about his stomach hurting and every now and again he'll say "My stomach has an owie, I need to go to the Doctor's office now." Is it real pain or just discussion about the events of the last couple of days? Maybe it's that he's not eaten anything but the BRAT diet for the past two days and he's just hungry. Hopefully it's just the latter and will cease with a good meal.

Only one the Stool sample tests is in - negative for infection (yaay!). We'll have to wait until Wednesday or so to find out if there are any results from the other. Sigh. Hopefully no news is good news.

Even though the Doctor wouldn't tell me if he's completely "free" from the possibility of this Intusussception thing, she thinks he's pretty much okay. I guess I can live with the fact that it's not an issue if he doesn't have symptoms.

Wood and I are a bit stressed from it all. Worry can make you tired. We're beat.

Will keep updating as news comes in. Hopefully there will be no news to report!

Saturday's Weather Forecast

Saturday's weather forecast for the Oakland, CA area called for sunny skies with temperature's in the mid to high 70's on Saturday. It wasn't that warm at 8 in the morning at Point Isabel where we take our dog for a walk every weekend. Our routine includes Twig in the stroller, since there are lots of dogs, most that are larger than a grown man, running around off-leash chasing balls, sticks, the wind, or other dogs. A thirty pound toddler likely looks like an interactive chew toy for most of these beasts, and I'm a freak, so we require him to be in the stroller for our weekend walks there. He happily watches the dogs play, eats some snacks, and listens to his favorite Sesame Street tunes on the MP3 player. All the while Wood and I walk at a relatively quick clip, throw the ball for the dog, and try to chat a bit.

After we did our normal routine yesterday, we headed over to the El Cerrito TJ's to get some food. Almost as soon as we walked into the store, Twig said his stomach hurt. His face got all contorted, he winced rather loudly, his face turned as white as a ghost, and then he looked like he was going to pass out. This happened several more times over a period of about 10 minutes but the pain turned into full-on screaming and crying followed by this paleness and this looking like he was going to pass out. Wood and I were frightened.

In the car, he fell asleep almost immediately. While we drove home I thought about the morning. What could be making his tummy hurt like this? What did he eat for breakfast? Are there any chemicals out and/or in his reach that he could have gotten into? He had been a grump for the past couple of days, and reportedly had a bad listening day at school on Friday, so for the past day or so I figured he was on his way to getting the same green nose-cold that the rest of the kids at School have. Oh, he's been eating chalk! I called the doctor's office, who referred me to the Poison Control, who said that "chalk is just like Tums, that would make his stomach hurt less, not more". Okay, the chalk isn't going to kill him. Whew!

We decided to run errands while he slept. All of a sudden, he woke up screaming holding his stomach, writhing in pain. This was immediately followed by paleness, sweats, and lethargy. Repeat the earlier scene, just more intense. We were on a busy street with lots of activity. You know, one of those quaint neighborhood streets with lots of stores, restaurants, families, etc. The only thing that piqued a tiny bit of interest was a woman in a power wheelchair who whizzed past us. Otherwise, people with balloons, children squealing with delight, and a woman pandering for money by singing and playing the banjo solicited only a very meek "Mommy, it's music" from him.

I called the Doctor's office again, despite the fact that they were closing in 10 minutes and explained the situation. I was guaranteed a call back by the doc who was working today.

The pain, screaming out loud, and lethargy continued to intensify so without a call back from the doctor's office so 30 minutes later Wood and I decided to go directly to the Emergency Room at Children's Hospital. We got a call back from our doctor's office while we were in the waiting room. She said that the hospital doctors would be better able to help find out what was going on than she would over the phone.

Twig was being seen by a doctor within an hour of our initial arrival at the Emergency Room, having periodic but very intense pain. When being examined, he had severe pain in the upper right side of his abdomen. Otherwise, everything was normal.

The doctor left the room to blow her nose and came back to tell us her preliminary diagnosis: Intussusception - one portion of the bowel slides into the next, much like the pieces of a telescope. When this occurs, it creates an obstruction in the bowel, with the walls of the intestines pressing against one another. This, in turn, leads to swelling, inflammation, and decreased blood flow to the intestines involved. Her plan: they would put an IV in his arm, send us for an ex-ray and ultrasound of his abdomen, and go from there. Wood and I both knew that this was serious but were both trying to being as patient and objective as possible.

In about 10 minutes, the nurse and a helper were in our room to place an IV in Twig's arm. What a trooper this kid is. He chatted up the two nurses (the helper, a very large man named Dave, who was prepped and ready to hold him down should screaming, hitting and kicking ensue) about this great book by Jon Scieszka, school activities, and other niceties. When the most fabulous male nurse was preparing to poke him with the needle the second time - and my son had absolutely no problem with it - it hit me that they were preparing him to be ready in case he needed emergency surgery on his intestines. I excused myself for about 2 minutes to go to the bathroom (read: cry my eyes out in another room so that my son wouldn't see my panic). When I returned, the nurse said that in his 25 years of nursing children, he'd never had a patient so easy to set an IV. Wood and I honestly believe that Dave was genuinely disappointed that he didn't have anything to do. He was grateful to Twig for the story recommendation for his 5 year old, though.

We went for the x-ray and then the ultrasound - where again this two year old kid did everything he was told with absolutely no whining, crying, or refusal of any kind. And while the radiologist did the ultrasound (a blockage was seen on the x-ray) we listened intently to the problem being seen and the possible diagnoses. The colon is thickened and swollen, there are many swollen lymph nodes in the area but the kidneys look good. It could be intussusception (not likely but you never know), there could be bleeding in the intestines which is causing the swelling and thickening of the colon, and/or some bacterial or viral disease process happening. We were sent back to the Emergency Room to talk to the Doctor.

Before the doctor came back, the nurse brought a bag of fluid in and said that Twig needed to have this. We'd have to wait to see the doctor until she heard back from the Radiologist as to the results of the x-ray and ultrasound. Twig was feeling better - no intermittent screaming from the pain for about 2 hours - he wanted to eat and drink and was being a typical two year old turd so being connected to the IV machine was a bit trying.

When the doctor came back (it wasn't the original one), she said that they're not exactly sure what's going on. They don't think that intussusception is an immediate concern and they're going to treat him for the bacterial or viral option (the treatment is IV fluid therapy) and need to do some tests on his stool to try to determine what is going on. We were sent home with a sack to collect some poop from his next bowel movement. We were told to bring back the stool sample as soon as possible after collecting it, to bring him back to the hospital immediately if his pain increases again, he stops peeing, has a high fever (101) for more than 2-3 days, or has diarrhea more than 12 times in 1 day. We are to see our regular doctor Monday or Tuesday for follow up on the results of the stool culture(s). The final diagnosis: inflammation to the intestine.

We went home after 6 hours in the Emergency Room, having missed the glorious weather, but knowing that we made the right decision to follow our instincts and head directly to the hospital. Granted, we're not completely out of the woods on this. But, our son isn't in excruciating pain, screaming, or looking like he's going to pass out. His eyes have those tired bags underneath them, but a little worse than usual this morning (which is always a sign to me that he's sick) even though he slept pretty well last night. But he has only eaten toast and two bites of banana in the last 24 hours. This morning, he's happily watching television. He's usually bored by the end of the first episode of Sesame Street. He's had two already and just started on Charlie and Lola. He can sit there and watch as long as he wants today.

Microwave Popcorn

There was a time when I just loved that "Butter" flavored Microwave Popcorn you get from the supermarket. But people change. The Microwave is about 15 steps from my office door and whenever someone makes their afternoon popcorn snack, I just want to hurl. Really, it's a physical response to the scent.

Ides of March

Wood and I got married on this day (we don't much care for Julius Cesar so - baaahhh!). Twig had the sweetest smile on his face while he watched us hug and kiss in the kitchen this morning, saying "Happy Anniversary" to one another. Work is so busy for us this week that we can't take a few minutes out of the work day to stick to tradition and on our anniversary proper, eat lunch where we had our ceremony and reception. Oh well, Grandma will 'sit on' Twig Friday night so we can have dinner together at our spot - and we're thinking that we'll go out dancing afterward. Whooo-hooo!

Wood is feeling a bit better than he was the other day. He has agreed to call the health plan and search for a Nice Lady to have Conversations with. It doesn't matter to me how much money it will cost - his emotional, mental, and by default, physical health, are so much more important than any amount of money. I've got my own thoughts on the 'issues' at hand but they're not relevant. Upon questioning he says it's only about him, not 'us'.

The "Beware!" entry was not fiction. Real life drama. Grrr.

Beware!

Dear [Former Employer]:

I received an email from [my email provider] today 3/13/07 asking for feedback on a recent inquiry and subsequent changes that I had made to my account [regarding services I had purchased for you]. I had not made any changes to any of my accounts so I immediately contacted [the provider] to inquire.

Upon inquiry, [email provider] reported that [former employer] called and made changes to my account. They also reported that you were required to give at least two levels of personal information regarding me and the account - my home and work zip codes, my alternate email address(es), credit card numbers (okay - this is legitimate - yours was used to pay for the services), and/or my date of birth information in order to access the account. All of the previously stated confidential information that you used to access my account was available to you ONLY because of an employment arrangement which we previously had.

You have never contacted me by telephone, email, or US post to request that I, the account owner make changes to the account. If you had requested it, I would have gladly made the changes.

Your access to my personal [email and other services purchased from the provider] account and the resulting changes made to it on 3/7/07 was NOT authorized by me - the account owner. This is absolutely egregious and unacceptable.

Please note that I am in contact with legal representation and will seek any and all remedies available to me by law regarding [previous employer's] unauthorized access to my personal account on 3/7/07. Note also that I will seek any and all remedies available to me by law if you, any employee of, or person related to you and/or [previous employer's name here] EVER accesses ANY of my personal accounts or utilizes or otherwise shares any of my personal or confidential information available to you as a result of our previous employment arrangement with anyone without my prior written authorization to do so.

Sincerely,

Bitch (the one whom you obviously pissed off one too many times)

Worry

Wood is in a bad space. He's not really sure what's going on. He's home from work today having chest pains again (these were diagnosed as a panic attack about a year ago). He hates his job and feels like he and I are always opposite one another - he's up, I'm down. - I'm up, he's down - and he doesn't like it. Rightfully so. Life has changed for all of us, and in a really big way, lately. Maybe it's time he see a nice lady. That's all I have time for right now - the love of my life needs me more than anything else.

I Know You Are But What Am I?

I stumbled across a couple of potentially interesting Mommy Blogs today and am just pleased as punch that there are some more of us sharp-tounged mommy-women out there writing for the whole world to see. It's also wonderful to see the word Bitch in reference to us being used out there, too.

Perhaps it's because thinking is something that comes rather easily to me. Or maybe it's because of my perpetual skepticism that people find me difficult, intense, challenging, and bitchy. Maybe that's why books and just about anything else that suggests and/or supports Wonelle's Bitchiness is so alluring. I actually revel in being thought of and called a Bitch on occasion. It's kida powerful, you know?

I'm reading the latest book publication Bitchfest from the editors of www.bitchmagazine.com and received a subscription to the print magazine for christmas (but haven't seen a copy yet - and I want oh, so badly to read it). Check it out. If nothing else, it's interesting reading.

Before The Job Started

Wood and I had a long, rather heated, discussion Sunday or Monday before the new job began (Wow! it's been three weeks now). It wasn't on any new topic. No, it was just the continuation of an old one. One that we had not been able to make any significant headway on. It had to do with each of our responsibilities with regard to Twig. Bathing, feeding, dressing, diapering, driving, playing, and the list goes on.

When I left my last job, Wood was up for a promotion. While it would have well made up for the salary that no longer existed on my end, it would have been quite a lifestyle change. The job and hours would have kept him away from home a whole bunch. Early mornings, late nights, traveling, and the like. I was very conflicted about this potential gig. On the one hand, I really want him to pursue any professional opportunities (or personal) that interest him. This job would have taken him back to the Arts in a way that was very much like the first job he had in college and that would have been a good thing. But, on the other hand, I was concerned that the job would keep him away from Twig and I, who want and need him at home to participate in certain parts of our lives. I wholeheartedly support his love of the Arts (for work or pleasure) but I didn't exactly sign up to be a *single* married parent.

A couple of months before Twig was born I stopped working. It was a crappy gig and a bad match. We were able to afford a decent lifestyle without my salary. I was planning on taking as much time off as possible after Twig's arrival, so it seemed natural that I be a stay at home mom for a while. I had been long thinking that I wanted to focus on family and here was my golden opportunity. Problem was, once I got it, I didn't like it all that much. Oh, the housekeeping, grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning weren't the issue. I honestly believe that when I wasn't working, my job was to be the goddess of our home. For me it was being home full-time with a baby that was tough. I couldn't communicate with him and had no clue as to what he wanted (besides my boobs - which is another post all together). Lets just suffice it to say that being a mommy, especially in the early days, has never been automatic or natural for me. I'm not like some of those women you see - you know the ones we envy and try and emulate - the ones that are clearly in their element with little ones...seemingly at all times of the day.

I started to work part-time when Twig was about a year old and it continued to be a breeze for me to be goddess of all things home and child. The garbage and bills were Wood's primary responsibility. Everything else - mine. Those of you that 'know' me, know that I can do a whole bunch with relative ease. Some might call me a type-A personality and that's fine with me. My expectations are high and I generally rise to the occasion. I like to get stuff done and I like to be the one to do it. But as my part-time job became closer to full-time, Twig needed to be dropped off and picked up at regular times, and it kind of just kept being my responsibility to do all things house and baby. As time went on, it became increasingly more difficult for me to keep it all together.

Part of the reason I married Wood was, not only because of his dashing good looks and fabulous personality but, because he 'did his own laundry', 'made his own bed', and 'cooked his own food'. He went to boarding school in High School so he learned how to take care of himself at a fairly young age. This was (and still is) totally sexy to me. I am an independent woman, always have been, and always will be - I sure as hell am not interested in wiping a grown man's ass. Excuse the imagery, here folks, but I'd had a few mamma's boys for boyfriends in my day and wasn't havin' it by the time Wood walked into the Lobby of my life. But something happened when we got married. He slowed down on the pitching in tip. By the time Twig was a year and a half old, I was working full-time, and he was frankly being lazy.

As I said in an earlier post, I yelled at Wood about 4 weeks after Twig was born and it changed our relationship (okay, maybe it was the culmination of changes in our lives that changed each of us and our relationship, but that is the event that I see in my minds eye when I notice the changes from the way it was between us in the early days). He told me the other day that that feeling - wishing that it hadn't been the way that it was - is regret. Because of regret (and the knowledge that to keep a marriage you have to be willing to gently compromise), I have worked really hard to approach my wishes for change in my relationship with my partner very incrementally and subtly. Yes, ME, with subtlety. As things became more difficult for me to manage between child, dog, cat, home, work, and lack of a sex life, I would express my frustrations, my tiredness, my feeling overwhelmed, the reasons for my lack of libido. But I wasn't terribly direct because he could do his own laundry (read: he's a big boy and doesn't need me to spell it out for him). But it didn't get me what I needed. He didn't help. Or if he did, it was only for a few days. Then it ended. I got more frustrated, more tired, more overwhelmed and started to be more direct. He didn't hear me. Well, if he heard me, he certainly didn't offer any help.

The conversation started to get really intense when I was looking for work this last time around. He said I could get a job in a coffee shop. NO, that would not be possible because Twig can't be dropped off at daycare before 8am and has to be picked up by 5:30pm. Wood can't drop off because he likes to go in to work early. Can't pick up because he can't leave the building before everyone else - he's responsible for the safety of people (doesn't matter that he gets there 3 hours before everyone else, too). So, it's Mami's job to do the drop off and pick up. But since Wood doesn't get home at the same time every night, I also have to do dinner. And since Twig spends a majority of his time with Mami, Papi can't put him to sleep, so I'm on for that too. God only knows why I fall asleep with the kid every night by 7:30pm... Wood sits in front of the television for a couple of hours after he gets home from work. What a luxury. In the morning, it's Mami who gets the kid dressed, teeth & hair brushed, fed, lunch made, dishes from last night done, dog fed, cat fed, etc. (what's a shower?) because again, I'm by myself with the little Won.

Wood said in this pre-Mami-working-talk that if he 'had' to share more Twig responsibilities that he'd never be able to climb the ladder at work. He said "when you make as much as I do..."I stopped him (quite angrily) in the middle of his sentence and said that that was not fair. "you have a Masters Degree" he said. "What you fail to understand Wood, is that my lack of a penis automatically means I will never have anywhere near the earning potential you do. First of all my profession doesn't pay much, even with a Master's Degree, and secondly, because I'm The Mami, and because I have to do the things that I do to keep our lives running smoothly - you can't even get home at the same time 3 days a week to make dinner - my job options are extremely limited. Yes, limited by geographic, time, and parenting constraints. Thus, my potential (especially for earning) for career advancement will be limited until Twig goes away to college. And the coffee shop just isn't a reality - on a few different levels. I'll do whatever I need to do for Twig, you, and me -I told you I'd suck it up if you got that promotion - but this is different. You need to decide what type of a relationship you want to have with your family. Just let me know what that is so that I can work it out for myself."

It's weird that it's taken this much time to come full-circle but it has all changed on a dime. He's doing so much more family/household stuff. And, as of my first day on the job, he picks Twig up from daycare every day of the week.

With his help, I'm less stressed, tired, and overwhelmed. And my libido's back. He really is a fabulous man. I can hardly find words to express how much I love him.