The Season of Me

No more job I was unhappy at. A week off before I start my new one (although there is some work I have to do to prepare).

Dentist - check
Blood Pressure - 129/66 - check
Dermatology appt. - freeze off the spot on my forehead - check
        - scalp scabs that won't heal - acne - check
         - scaly stuff on my hand - excema - check
         - Brown spot on my forearm - biopsy - wait a week for the results

Later I lunch with a friend. Arrange appointments, run errands, get stuff done. Watch more tv.

Yep, it's like that.

Bit By Bit

I'm stepping out of my current role.

Last week I announced my departure to everyone. Today I removed my work email from my cell phone.

What will it be tomorrow, besides counting the days until I'm out?

Hurry!

It's perfectly normal, Wonelle, that when waiting for a really big dream to come true it seems like it's taking forever, you wonder if you're doing something wrong, and you feel like you should just be happy with less.

But I promise you, no matter how long it takes, once it happens it'll seem as if time flew, you'll wonder how you ever doubted yourself, and you'll feel like you should have aimed a little higher.

Aim a little higher, Wonelle -The Universe

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These notes from the Universe always are spot-on and show up in my in-box just in the nick-of-time.

Fortitude

Since I resigned on Monday, I've felt a surge of calm and simultaneous energy wash over me. It's feeling stronger every day, too. Like I can take on the life I'm living rather than being a slave to it.

I'm announcing to the management team and my staff today. Although, I'd be only mildly surprised if people already know. The grapevine there is supercalifragilisticexpialedocious. Things people didn't know they knew other people already know, you know?

I'm working on setting myself up for success in the new gig, too. And need to write some thank you notes pronto.

Self Care Reminder in my In-Box (!)

No more "supposed tos," OK, Wonelle?

You're not supposed to work harder, look better, sleep less, sell more, run faster, talk slower, be happier, stay longer, leave earlier, cook, clean, negotiate, settle, start, stop, move, try, win, shake, rattle or roll.

Other people made all that up.

I love you the way you are,

The Universe

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Oh, you can do any or all of the above, Wonelle, you so can, but you're not "supposed to."

Self Care

It's beginning to be the season of me. Quitting my job! NOT taking a walk when I wanted to stay home. Going to sleep very soon because I'm exhausted. It's all about taking care of Wonelle's true needs. First.

You Must Finish What You Start

To Hell with that!

I'm a quitter and it feels SO (expletive) good!

Hopefully I'll manage to be out if here in three weeks. It's going to be a long three weeks!

Tarot

I have a nifty tarot app on my phone and this is what popped out today. Next to that is my new office (from the door so I'll be moving the desk first thing).

It seems a bit scary - especially with all the change I'm about to encounter. My fears about the change are frequent and range from daily considerations like telling my current boss and colleagues, drop off and pick up changes for Twig, worries that I'll be learning a lot (is it too much?) or expected to do too much too fast, to being unhappy, and wondering what the future holds.

I need to have faith that it will work out just fine. It's going to be just fine.

Right?

We're About Half Way There

Sunday July 28, 2013 7:42am

Wood,

I took the biggest risk of my entire life just to meet you. I may have to choose every day, but I've never once regretted it -you're the best person to ever come into my life. I love you a million times over, especially because you love every part of ME.

Watch this Story Corps video

Love, Wonelle

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Tues July 30, 2013 7:43am

My first my last my everything. You have given me so much in our time together. A beautiful and talented son. A relationship based on truth even when it hurts. An honest and unflinching support of me even in the face of my own ineptitude and sometimes lack of focus.

We both stepped outside the relative comfort of our lives just for a chance to be together. What an amazing gift when you are willing to risk yourself for a chance at love. Thank you for being my partner every step of our journey together. You are such a beautiful person. Please keep loving yourself as much I love YOU! Thank you for being all mine...

Wood

Home Sweet Home

It took nearly the entire vacation before home was anywhere on my radar screen. Granted, I missed Twig, as much as any mom can when she's only one small step from completely losing it; that 12 hour drive through Grants Pass and horrible wildfires smoke was really tough because I was excruciatingly exhausted for most of it and we haven't had a real family vacation in a couple of YEARS. It was long overdue. I didn't realize how much I needed it until it began. But I'm glad to be home.

I extended my time away from work through today. There's stuff that needs to be done on the home front. And I've kind of already checked out of that place. I've checked email a couple of times and it's just annoying. I knew that place was trouble from day one. I should have walked away then. I should have run! But grown ups have obligations. I felt like I had to keep the job. So I did.

It hasn't been all bad. I've been given some serious opportunities there. I've made some positive improvements. I've grown and developed programs, people, and myself. But, still, I should have RUN away after the first day!

At least one staff person will be glad to see me go - and she'll think she's won. To that I say "we both win!" Others will be disappointed but not because of any relationship we've built. My boss will be disappointed because my departure will make her ability to look good harder than it is. My staff will be disappointed because of the unknowns my leaving will bring. It's been very, very rocky with them for about 8 months. I don't think clients will care much, or notice, really. My job impacts them but not too directly. I will be sad to leave a couple of people - one really - but we will be able to have a friendship outside the office. I am sad to leave, like when you leave a boyfriend that isn't good for you but you just know he has has the potential to be a great husband and father. To someone else.

Yeah, it's like that!

I think my new boyfriend will like my sassy attitude and big fat ass - I could be selling myself a bill of goods but I'm not just jumping into this relationship like I did that last guy. I took some time to think this one through and feel like we fit better. It feels like going home.