Fighting (A Rant)

It's so tough to fight with the closest ally in your camp. I mean really, we're all tired, playing the same stupid games, and ultimately working toward the same goal. Right?

It would seem, this evening anyway, that we were not on the same team. We are transitioning to a new "routine" and this has Wood quite tense. It takes him some time to adjust.

Mornings go something like this: 

5am Wood wakes; shower, coffee, breakfast, etc.

6am Wood leaves

7am Twig and Wonelle wake up; Wonelle makes breakfast, lunch, dinner, cleans up from yesterday's leftover lunch or dinner dishes in the kitchen. Wakes grandma, gets her medicine and heating pad together, ensures she brushes her teeth, and is ready for the bus when it arrives. Ensures Twig is dressed, teeth brushed, clean clothes, food, lunch, etc. and gets him to his day activity du jour as close to on time as possible. Arrives to work, on average, 30 minutes late.

It used to be that Wonelle also rushed from work at 5pm to pick up Twig from his day activity and was home by the time Grandma made it home so that she could get dinner ready for everyone, too. But as of last week, Wood is the adult in charge for the evening pick up and meet grandma at home routine. No, he doesn't have to cook dinner. I typically have that arranged for him - all he has to do is heat it up when he gets home and serve it. I now leave the office at 6 so that I'm ensuring I've put in my full 8 hours per day. 

He and Twig arrived home after I did tonight. This leads me to believe he's working more than he should be. But I digress.

After this evening's Complete and Total Breakdown about what's happening at Acting camp this week (read: it's not going the way Twig thinks it should and he's not the center of attention so he's disappointed and waiting until he gets home to explode at me about it), I made dinner...when it was time for Twig to hit the sack, Wood exclaimed something to the effect of "I don't want to put him to sleep". But, because I don't "offer" to put the boy to sleep, we get into a fight instead. About what? Wood doesn't want to stay in the bed after he's finished reading to wait for him to fall asleep because Wood always falls asleep too and when he does, his back hurts. And, rightfully (no really, I'm not being sarcastic here), he doesn't like that.

But, I am at a loss for what it is that I should do. He didn't and doesn't ask me to do something before the situation occurs. He makes blanket statements about how things will and won't be. And then gets mad at me for his being the responsible adult in charge - for not taking charge of his feelings, I guess.

I believe my response to him tonight was "I can't be responsible for the morning and evening routines; it's too much." 

So it turns out we fought about his feelings about what it takes to get our child to sleep. And how he doesn't want to do it. And I probably shouldn't have said, in response to his frustration about him having done this evening routine for months and months (and months), that I did it for years. That wasn't helpful. But it is true. 

And I'm not terribly sympathetic. I got yelled at, screamed at, punched, sassed and finally kicked in the knee this morning during the hour long temper tantrum about washing hands and flushing the toilet. 

I'm not parenting my husband. If he needs something, he needs to ask for it directly and succinctly. No beating around the fucking bush. Mean what you say and say what you mean. 

We're in it together. Do your part when you're called upon. It's not always going to be split 50/50. Suck it up. Or fight.