Crunch Time

The Nice Lady is part of the Child Psychologists office. She's working on her licensure so clinical hours are not billable on insurance but the cash rate is comparable to the co-pay that we'd pay. Her background is helping moms with postpartum depression, bonding, past trauma and the like.

I like her energy. A lot.

Granted it's her job... she was nonplussed by the fact that I didn't complete the intake form completely. She asked the questions on the form and as painful as it was, I was honest. Depressed? Check. Tearful? Check. Sleeping problems? Check. Anxious? Check. Lethargic? Check.

When I put it all together, say it out loud, re-read these entries, and reflect on my recent conversations with the kid doc, it's all so clear. My state of mind makes sense.

It's not just Crunch Time. I'm in crisis. Full blown close to completely losing it. And I didn't get the extent of it until now.

What are my goals, she asked. To learn how NOT to cry at work, to process out loud, and to develop some self-care skills that I'm able to maintain consistently, even when things get rough.

It hurts like hell. But I know I'll get through this.