The Upside
Is that Won fell asleep in about 15 minutes. It's 7:30pm and I'm still awake. That's rare.
So, Doc, I was thinking I should work on my personality disorder...
- Wonelle
- Portland, OR, United States
- This blog started as a journal used in between weekly therapy sessions. Even though my $125 an hour was well spent, I had an intense need to get more off my chest in between sessions. The Nice Lady and I don't spend quality time together any more but the exercise of journaling continues to be an important way that I process my experiences, thoughts and feelings on a multitude of subjects. Writing is perfect because frankly, I talk too much. When I process by writing, those around me aren't obligated to listen to me process aloud. It's tricky though; My experience is that journaling your truth will get you one hell of a beating once other people read it. In the face of that, I write and invite you to read and make a comment or two.
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2 comments:
That upside turned out to be worth not fighting for our family. When I weaned, we had no more napping. Your case is different since Won has a school schedule, but it might be worth a try to make a new pattern.
Some moms institute quiet play time for alone/visiting with papi time. The child can look at books, listen to music quietly, play with toys if quiet. It need to be restful. SOmetimes they fall asleep. Often not. I ma thinking 45 minutes was what she did. Helped with the crazies.
My darkest parenting moment arose of M not closing his eyes and going to sleep when I demanded it. My ferocious reaction really scared me and I think he is still scarred. Bad mommy.
Try to give up making him sleep. It is like making him eat. You offer, make it available, make it livable for yourself, but forcing leads to a struggle about a bodily function. This is the beginning of the time where we are not in charge of their bodies. They are.
Just thoughts!
xo-P
Yes, your thoughts are exactly right on. And my experience is very similar. Except that I don't think that weaning is Won's issue (entirely). This has been a problem between he and I since the beginning. Weaning may be impacting the power struggle a bit but...
Despite my clear understanding of it all - that we must give in - I find myself being resentful that we don't get what we want (much less, need) anymore. Everything takes three attempts to complete and it's all done in the haze of sleeplessness. I want what I want and sometimes I have a very hard time not getting it.
Papi and I decided *together* that nap is not going to be attempted today and maybe indefinitely - I remember the two weeks when school was on holiday vacation. We didn't try to get any nap and it was better for all of us. He eventually fell asleep in the car when he was ready. It was, in some ways, much better than fighting the nap. I wasn't any less tired though. And, Grandma was visiting. It wasn't just me trying to contain the beast. More than one set of hands really makes a big difference.
Now Papi and I are trying to decide how to arrange and enforce some type of restful quiet time. We both know that we've been having major power struggles (even though we both do what we can to avoid them, and remind each other to avoid them) and that things are currently in an awful state of affairs. We know that we need to do some major backpedaling if we are to move forward. Just like with nursing, I feel that we have to have this situation have more good to it than bad before we end it.
I'm working on my stuff and it's really tough. He's two years old and requires more sleep, damn it! I'm the Mom, damn it! Instead of being a stubborn bitch about it, I'm trying to remind myself that he's a willful person and that will is a good thing - it will keep him safe. I love my son and don't want our relationship to be like this. I know that Papi and I can make it better if we continue to work together on it.
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