Child Clearly Understands Who Is In Control

Yesterday, after more than two hours of fighting for a nap, Won was driven to sleep by Papi. It only took about 5 minutes at 65mph and he was successfully transferred into the house without waking, too!

When they got home from their excursion, I was writing my anger and frustration away, hoping that once I saw Won asleep, I'd be able to relax enough to visit with Papi. It took a while longer for me to get it out of my system (and I needed to do a few edits). Turns out in addition to refusing to sleep, he's now learned to sense any degree of affection which I or Hubbie intend to direct toward the other. And interrupts us.

An episode each of Charlie and Lola and Sesame Street were the order of the day after only 60 minutes of sleep (which, in my opinion, was nowhere near enough because he's only sleeping about 9 hours per night when it's normally 12). Hubbie talked me down - Won was beside himself crying for something - helped me realize that this was the only way we would have a few minutes to ourselves and that there was no sense in fighting it. Even though I completely agreed with him, it took me the better part of Charlie and Lola to relax. This is pissing me off.

I feel like the weekend nap issue is a major battle of wills. Won naps at school. Actually, Won lays down on a mat on the floor and puts himself to sleep at school. Every day of the fucking school week. At home, I can't get this kid to relax if I gave him the boob, drugs, or a really good knock on the head (none of which I would do, of course). I feel like I'm doing something oh so wrong here. We try to be kid centric. We try to keep him engaged. We try to keep on a schedule like at school. We take him to swimming lessons in the morning on Saturdays. We take him to the kid park in the morning on Sundays. We do kid stuff. We play playdough. We read books. We have fun. Obviously not enough fucking fun. Obviously not enough parental control. He'd never hit his teachers at school and refuse to lay down for a nap. But with me or Papi? It doesn't matter what we do - more activity, less activity, earlier nap, later nap, less sleep, more sleep - NOTHING.

It's reminiscent of all of the other battles that we have except that here I have no leverage. Its reminiscent of all of the other battles that we have in that I do everything in my power to stay in control. Take things away with no major inflections in my voice. Be clear and swift. Strong and loving. And approach every day and every occasion as if it were the first time. I think about my approach and tactics before the event. But with nap, everything I've tried: Stay on the bed and the door will stay open; Be soft and gentle (e.g. no hitting and/or kicking) and I will stay in bed with you; Or, if you hit and/or kick you are not invited in my bed, get out; Stay in bed and you can have that toy; and the list of preferred behavior versus consequence of bad behavior conversation topics goes on, but doesn't work.

So this afternoon I call my mom and ask her when she's coming to visit her grandson (she'd asked this morning if she could) and she says she doesn't know. I explain that we've been trying to get a nap for 3 hours. She says she would have stopped after 1 and gone to have fun. I explain that he's two years old and needs a nap or he's a jerk (as he's trying to hurt the dog in the background). I explain that he takes a nap every day at school. She asks why we don't put him in the car. I explain that he goes to sleep on his own at school. She says she's got to go.

I understand why some parents beat their children and why some children hate their parents (I am opposed to the former and don't want the latter). These are the days that I realize how much underestimated my ability to get beyond my stuff so that I could be a good parent and raise a good human being. That's just one reason we're not interested in having more kids.

My mom just got here.

Any advice?