Up and Down

I'm feeling yucky today. It's probably this cough that is keeping me down. That and the lack of knowing about the job that I want and know I'm a finalist for. I had hoped to hear last week but I haven't. And I'm obsessed with when I might hear whether or not I'm being offered the position. When should I decide that I've not been selected? Should I ask the potential employer? When? How aggressively should I be pursuing other work? Blah, blah, blah. I need a job and we need the money. That's where the stress comes from.

Writing on this blog tends to help. I can get things out of my system and into the universe where it belongs. It means that the stress and inertia aren't directed at my loved ones or myself. It's interesting though that I find myself censoring my thoughts and typing. I have only told one friend about this blog. Otherwise no one else knows that I write here. That and if they did there are few things that could really link it back to me. It stems from being invaded so many years ago. That one is going to take a while to work through. That and I should work on being more vague and poetic when expressing my feelings about certain things. Hmmm.