New Years Eve is 'Amateur Night'.

The day before New Year's Eve I went out with a couple of friends. We've known each other for many years. We eat dinner together pretty frequently, hang out togehter on the weekends occasionally, go on vacation together sometimes. I know these two women throught my Husband's association with their Husbands. They have known each other for a long time. Actually, the two women met in college. They are best friends. They are girly-girls. I am not (a regular best friend to anyone - at the moment - or a girly-girl). But, I have had a rough time of it as of late and am in no position to turn down friendship - or an evening away from mommy-duty. So, at their most gracious invitation, we planned to get out and have a drink or two.

We met at a place that I read about in Oakland Magazine as having good food and drinks. We decided that we'd check it out and if we didn't like it, we'd leave and go to a more well-known place just down the street. It was tough to get out of the house. No pant pulling, no looks of indignation. Just my inner critic telling me that I'm not fashionable enough, not sociable enough, not cute enough, not enough. No matter that my husband has always said "girrl - you're too much". My "actually, my sweet, I'm just right and don't you forget it!" retort hasn't been there for a long time. I haven't had my usual sense of humor since I was pregnant three years ago. I care less than ever what I look like, how my clothes fit, and what other people think. I have been changed from the inside out and the woman who was me only shows glimpses of herself here every now and again.

We talked about a lot of different things and I learned a secret about these women. They are slowly but surely letting me into the fold. Maybe it's me slowly but surely being open to it. Nah, it's probably a combination of the two.

I didn't get home until after midnight, smelling of vodka. Hope we do that again soon. It was fun. Yeah, being a friend and girly-girl isn't as bad as I make it out to be.