Looking for a J-O-B sucks.

I'm looking for a job. I spend a majority of my day searching on-line employment sites, reading job descriptions and wondering if the job could be a match for me. Job searching sucks. Being a mother (and wife, to a much less extent) diminshes the number of positions for which I can apply. You see, most jobs, in the "requirements" section of the posting say "flexibility in hours worked", "must be willing to work evenings and/or weekends", "travel required 30% of the time", or something similar that essentially screams "those that have priorities which may in any way rival being a slave to this job need not apply". I've applied to several jobs though. And, I've had fairly good success - three interviews so far. I know for a fact that my references have been checked on two but I've not received a phone call/offer from either. I want only one of the potential jobs. It's full time, seems to be a good match, and meets all of the other basic criteria. Good hours, location, benefits, time off, pay. Seems to have a good Executive Director and culture. However, I'm in purgatory. That is the part that sucks. I want to be chosen, to have a job, to be contributing to my family's financial matters, productive, etc. All of those things I know myself to be capable of.

Despite the fact that I'm searching for work, I am feeling much more relaxed about life in general - I feel like I can manage it all at the moment. It's not going to be so simple when I am working full time, though. How will we be able to manage all of the things that need to be managed when we both are out of the house 10(+)hours (out of the 16 hours we're awake) every day (yes, we both do need a lot of sleep)?

Hubbie and I are discussing how to keep, in particular my, stress levels down once I start to work full-time. My stating that I'd like a housekeeper every couple of weeks, and possibly babysitter a couple of times a week, prompted him to tell me that he needed to bring me "back down to earth". Hmmm, I think I'm on this here rock but maybe we haven't discussed it fully. Maybe I haven't made my case well enough...

There's too much going on during the week when working full-time to do it all and I need help. Period. Help. That's what I need to make sure my mental health and by default, relationships with my family, friends, and co-workers stay intact. He contends that I'm spending money that hasn't been earned yet and that we have a bunch of credit card debt that's hanging over our heads. Yes and yes. It is money that hasn't been earned yet and we do have debt. However, I'm primarily responsible for transportation to and from day care, cooking, cleaning, shopping, preparing lunch, bed time stories, breakfast, bathing, dressing, grooming, etc. He's responsible for trash & recycling (once a week), picking up dog shit (which I've been told recently he resents), and keeping track of the finances - and he works a lot.

There's a lot that need to be done though. In addition to the working and other stuff we have play dates, dog walks, family and social relationships, and among other things, nap time (oh, yeah, my libido has been like it was pre-kid recently - where the hell does that get stuck in? - no pun intended). My point here is that even if we let it all go during the week, there is only so much time on the weekends to complete all of this stuff. If I have to do it all by myself I just can't manage to be happy-go-lucky too. I can do a lot but I know my limitations and expectations. I didn't do so well before and I want a certain lifestyle. I want to be happy and have the house clean/well organized. He's not in a position in his job to be the regular in terms of pick-up/drop off and by default, much of the other stuff. So, I've done my best to ignore and not be bothered by the "when you get a job..." comments (I just don't hear the humor in his tone).

Money is an issue (no shit, like it's not for most people, huh?). We only have so much money to last for an indefinite amount of time. I feel the pressure. I get it. Really. I do. But I'm the Mom. I'm expected to do certain things and with his work situation being what it is, I am limited to working during the hours our child is in daycare. 8:30am until 5pm. Unless of course, his job changes in such a way that he is going to be able to be a "regular" in some of the other activities. Which is not the case - especially if he moves on to another position, company, etc. Besides, I want to spend time with my family (stress free so that among other things, I can get laid, damn it) on the weekends. Neither of us will have the energy to do it all all of the time. I'm just trying to be realistic. I know what I want and what I need. I know our limitations and unfortunately the discussion(s) didn't go over too well. But we will continue to talk about this - but not until I have been offered a full-time job. Which, as I said, I'm searching for.

The Nice Lady said that she thought it was going to be "interesting to see how you manage it" once working full-time. Uuhh, that's my concern too and I'm trying to work it out now so that it's not a problem later. Didn't she hear me at our first meeting??? Yeah, she did. She's just stating the obvious. Time is all it's really gonna take.