Decisions, Decisions
I was offered the job!
As I spouted off all of the pros and cons to Wood, the CEO called and offered me the job. She said she never wavered from me as the top candidate from a pool of 8 (or 9) very qualified people. I expressed my thanks and expressed that I was flattered to be her choice, and proceeded to tell her that I needed to discuss the offer with my husband and call her back next week.
I'm torn. Scared of staying where I am, of leaving, of doing something new, with new people, new places - of doing new things. Boy, Wood's friend sure did hit the nail on the head.
Ultimately, my issue is about taking a leap of faith.
I can barely recognize myself here - wanting to make the right choice so badly and not confident in my choice. There are reasons to stay and reasons to go.
Reasons to stay include a fair amount of autonomy and flexibility. Reasons to leave include too much responsibility, too many (difficult) staff, etc.
Reasons to go include an environment that is crazy-making (not that the new place isn't also crazy-making - it's a serious unknown). More money, less responsibility, opportunity to do new things and a slightly different arena of work.
I'm leaning toward taking it. Really, I am. But I need to talk to the CEO and get some more information about her, style, and issues that are important to me - autonomy, etc.
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2 comments:
oh oh oh!! what a neat thing to have that choice! Here on your blog you have been asking for change. You don't have to be held to that, but I'm just saying...
And I think you are away from home as well! Oh my! SO much all right now.
We are on vacation, and Twig is with family, for a couple more days. So, I have a great opportunity to ponder the choices at hand. My big fear is of disappointing others - in either case someone will be upset. But this is about me. My needs and what I want. I have a feeling it could go well, or not. It's the not that is frightening. However, I'm in a place of great transition inter-personally and this change may be a great practice-ground. I will be able to be more myself and not entrenched in the bullshit of my current job - bullshit for which I have very little tolerance. New bullshit is easier to tolerate. Plus this is an opportunity to set myself up for a new future and slightly different possibilities. I feel like I'm trapped where I am (because grown ups take care of business and do so responsibly - I'm a responsible grown up!) and want out. But not just for a change of scenery. I'm seriously leaning toward taking the job.
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