Fractured Sleep

Since our trip, my sleep has been light. I'm on alert as it were, extra sensitive to Wood - his breathing is waking me from very dreamy places full of intrigue and work. Figurative and literal intrigue and work.

Last night we had pizza with lots of arugula piled on top for dinner. I had chips & salsa before dinner. Lots of wine. Except for the chips & salsa, the same on Friday night. My stomach was heavy, kind of queasy early on both Friday and last night. I wonder if it's the food I've ingested. Maybe its that combined with feeling like my entire constitution is off-kilter. Coming off the flu a tiny bit still and vestiges of Vegas all over the place - dry (sandpaper like) skin, athletes foot, a need for vegetables and a few good poops.

Besides that, there is a lot on my mind:

1. The work I'm doing with my Nice Lady. She recommended a book - How to be an adult in relationships (Ricoh). The focus, apparently as I haven't started reading yet, is about being present.

2. Twig has been very weepy and whiny the last couple of days. He needs more than usual amounts of encouragement and processing time from me. School has been exceptionally hard for him over the past few weeks as he's on a "behavior plan" in the classroom and we've set very tough consequences for failure to perform - as in loss of all extra curricular activities. I'm not totally keen on the teacher right now as she's made some hefty suggestions about his behavior meaning he can't stay at the school. His academics are fine. Except that she's marking those down because of behavior. She hasn't talked to us about these things until it reached critical mass. I won't have it. I love him to pieces.

3. I'm very, very behind at work and going in for 3 hours on Saturday didn't really help much with catching up. My boss continues with her antics of inappropriate boundaries, comments and such. I attended a meeting on my last day of vacation where she felt as though I hurled a personal affront toward her when I said that I thought we should have our management team retreat on more neutral territory (she had said we'd do it at her house). My newest and longest employed staff are not getting along after 3 weeks on the job. Yelling. I'm having to spend time facilitating therapy sessions, setting clear boundaries for behavior in the workplace and threatening swift and severe consequences for failure to be civil.

4. Wood and I have talked at length about "Sarah" and I think weP both have realized that she's a symbol or symptom of something bigger - mostly the fact that we have forgotten to be in a relationship with each other because we have focused so much on everyone else's needs. Talking openly has led to other openness, feeling much more connected and present with each other. Since I have only one true reader, I can also say that the talking and presence has very, VERY positively affected my libido. It hasn't been this steamy since we were a brand new couple.

5. Oh, the school auction. I often wish I hadn't signed up to help. My lofty goals of raising money have been usurped by the reality of working full-time, raising a busy, bounce kid and balancing those things against my own mental/physical/emotional health. It's okay - people on the committees get it. That gives me the space to be gentle on myself.

Happy Sunday. I'm off to the craft store, a birthday party, and a children's theater show today. Laundry and cleaning in between. I need to get on it now! The day's a wasting.