Fertile To Boot

I can't totally shake the fear and loathing of Sarah. Wood's old and new phone email, text, and photos were clear of any damning evidence, save the steamy porn featuring oral sex (which I have issues with providing) on the old cell phone, with regard to Sarah or the other work colleague I freaked out about. I came clean - told him of my teenage antics looking at his stuff and how insanely out of control I feel about the whole thing.

Have I mentioned lately that I also feel like he's the best guy in the whole wide world and how lucky I am to have him as my husband? He could have freaked out, stomped, yelled, screamed, or reacted otherwise poorly to my accusation-line-of-questioning-insecurity. But he didn't.

He was noticeably upset by the audacity of it all because, after all, he's a one woman man. But he listened. Intently. Caringly. With grace, humility, and respect.

All the qualities that led me to marry him were there through those conversations. They've been lying dormant with respect to me  for a while. It was nice to see and experience them first hand. It has definitely been good in myriad ways.

We've were going at it intensely since the confrontation last week - as in something insane like 5 out of 7 days of super hot, hot, hot wonderful! Granted we were unencumbered while in Vegas but it continued when we returned home - late nights and early school-mornings. We haven't been that amorous since we F I R S T started dating.

I wonder if I'm insecure AND fertile. Okay, add bat-shit-crazy to the list of what I am because despite all of the good, the talking, steamy sex and such, I'm not completely confident that its "over". He's a tight lipped guy. Maybe he's just really good at keeping a secret, an excellent liar, and I'm just seeing what I want to see?

Thanks for listening.