Everything Changes

The day got away from me yesterday and I didn't get to write...

I've had a headache for the past few evenings - doing an herbal total body cleanse - no caffeine and no alcohol in the foreseeable future. Trying that route before going back to the Chinese herbalist/acupuncturist for lower back pain (Traditional Chinese Medicine says lower back pain is a Kidney problem that doesn't go away quickly) - he's really expensive and we're spending some cash on family needs right now.

It's 30 minutes before bedtime and Twig's outside riding his bike under the watchful eye of Wood and Big C (our fantastic neighbor with two kids that are also friends with Twig).

I've been thinking lately that I really want to write a post about how I met my First Love. And about how I met my Dad in a Walgreens Coffee Shop. I haven't seen First Love in 15 or so years. He's been on my mind off and on over the past 4 or 5. My Dad is dead now. We'd been estranged for at least 8 years before he died, almost two years ago now.

First Love and Dad were very important to me for so many different and complex reasons. I have very mixed feelings about my still-very-strong feelings for each of them. Perhaps because they both were and are unavailable I think of them so frequently. It's also an interesting metaphor - especially compared to the way I met each of them. Now though, I wonder:

How are you?
Are you happier now?
What did you learn?
Do you know that I still love you? Yeah, it's true.

Got to stop now. Tears are forming. Not enough time to process this now. All in good time - I'll try not to take 20 more years.