Cough

I had this crazy idea recently about eggs. We go through so many of them, about a dozen each week, and I save the cartons (along with toilet paper rolls, corks, etc.) for the school art teacher. The empties are currently stacked about 8 high on top of my fridge. When I saw this pile of empties the other day it occurred to me that saving the carton alone was kinda wasteful - I should be saving the shells, too! You know, blow the egg out of a hole so the egg can be decorated.

I had this vision of taking egg shells, fully intact to school, in their cartons, for the kids to make fragile ornaments, Faberge style creations, or the like. I felt so proud. The art teacher, surprised and impressed.

So, we had breakfast for dinner last night. Chorizo and eggs.

I began with a pin sized hole on both ends of the egg as the onions sauteed in olive oil. Blowed gently. Blowed harder. Blowed to no avail. The egg shells were so flimsy they broke.

After two eggs, I quit. The onions were quite translucent, it was closing in on 7pm (which is way too late for dinner in the first place), and the egg whites, a bit on my hands, a bit in my mouth, was kinda grossing me out a bit.

As I finished the egg blowing, a cough came on...

It was the kind of cough that is unexpected, from something that is unexpectedly there. Lodged in a space you can't quite remember ever having noticed before. And it suddenly was there, making me gag (could this be a teeny tiny egg shell?) - quite intensely, too.

Hack-gag-cough!

Whoa, what was that? My leg is soaking wet! And a chunk of something that is absolutely NOT an egg shell simultaneously came out of my throat.

Eww...Um...Eww...Oh, my...

Yes, I pissed myself.