What A Difference A Day Makes

Well then, things sure have calmed down since my last post. Oh, who am I kidding? Nothing's easy in our lives and there's way too much to do on a daily basis. But we aren't fighting. We are past the thunderous crescendo and on to the calm quiet movement of the opera that is our lives.

Twig's doctor visit was a smashing success in that the doctor agreed that the incontinence is vey likely emotional/behavioral as I described a fairly clear pattern. The doctor used his (yes, a man doctor!) doctoral authority to impress upon the boy how he needs to follow a 4 times a day rule: breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bedtime. There are still poopy pants, for sure but the doctor helped him understand the importance of getting cleaned up and that parents are the ones to get help from. He's been asking for -okay- accepting help. That the argument has been reduced is huge relief.

I have to say I simply loved this doctor! He talked to Twig and got a couple of other issues out in the open. From the 6 year old perspective. He gently coaxed the boy to express his feelings and concerns with the honesty that only a child brings to the table. He's so advanced for his age, clearly adept at reading other people's feelings, and takes it all on. This is nothing new really, and a little heartbreaking to hear since I'm responsible for his angst, and can't totally make it go away. But a good reminder for me and Wood that we have to be more aware of what we talk about around him and that to the extent possible we have to keep Twig's reality as close to that of a 6 year old as possible. The doc told him that he can let his parents worry about grown up things. He's been respecting when we say "this is a grown up conversation; let us think about grown up things. You think about kid things".

But there is a significant impact of Grammie living with us, as Wood and I overheard while Twig and his friend Warrior Princess chatted in the back seat Sunday:

Twig: There's someone new at my house you've never met before.
Warrior Princess: Who?
Twig: My grandma, she lives with us now. It's kinda hard.
WP: Yeah, its hard for me with my baby sister.
Twig. You have a baby sister? (WP lives between mom & dad. Dad has a new wife & baby that Twig hasn't quite comprehended)
WP: Yeah, and I don't get very much attention any more.
Twig: Yeah, my Grandma forgets and needs a lot of help.
WP: Yeah, babies do too. I get attention but only after she goes to sleep.
Twig: Yeah.

Wood and I said nothing during he exchange. We glanced at each other and discussed it later in the day. Wondering aloud if the current living configuration is causing more harm than good.

We have had cause, however, to become creative in getting our needs met, tasks completed, and social lives lived.

Last week Tuesday or so, Grammie started complaining of a bladder infection. Wednesday she was convinced she has diabetes, and by Friday, at exactly the same time I was taking Twig to the doctor (and concurrently taking calls from the lawyer about our property in California), I got a call from her day program saying she was sick and wanted to go home. It was an incredibly stressful afternoon and evening as Wood was out helping a friend of a friend.
On my own to appease Grammie's fears that the sky might be falling. But, the lie that I'd called the doctor and had been told to wait a day or two and see how things go before going to urgent care (the new doctor appointment doesn't happen until Sept 9th) worked. She hasn't mentioned bladder infection symptoms, woozieness, or other symptoms. She's a bit obsessive about her current meds but that's her Alzheimers and mental health.

Life has become exponentially more complex with her here. And although we're half way considering not keeping her with us, we aren't making any moves to the contrary. We aren't making any moves in any direction, really.

Except vacation. We're on vacation for a week. !!!!!