The View From Over Here

Are you a glass half-empty or a glass half-full type of person?

I hate to say it but I'm the half-empty kind. It's not on purpose really, it just sort of happens. My outlook on life and understanding of the world doesn't focus on the beauty and wonder that exists; at my core my skin and bones tell me it's not safe to let my guard down. Somewhere along the way my optimism and naivety was snatched. I can't remember the exact moment that it happened but I learned early on that when you begin to feel comfortable that's usually when bad things happen.

For the most part, this nay-sayer approach (or critical thinking skill) has served me well. It has helped me gain strength and a perseverance to succeed in the face of difficult odds, personal demons, and human adversaries (including the ones that didn't even know they were being adversarial). However, there are times that this quality doesn't feel like such a great strength of character.

Take visiting with friends. As of late, half-empty has been lonely among even the largest group of people during the happiest of occasions. It has made me feel as if everyone is judging me when they're simply conceptualizing out loud. I'm not so good at making negative funny so such an outlook on and relationship with the world can often be misconstrued and impossible to be around.

Half-empty is challenging my self-confidence. I'm thinking (critically, of course) that it's time to regroup and rethink my relationship to the world. I want to be a glass half-full type of person!