Monday, December 15, 2014

Placebo?

Today marks two weeks of being on the antidepressant Venlafaxine (Effexor). The lowest dose possible taken each morning with food. Here's what I've noticed:

About an hour after I take it I get a bit "heady". Spacy, tired, or something along those lines. Hard to describe. And a bit of dry mouth that lands on my throat and sinuses. Makes me feel a bit "gaggy".

It all wears off by mid morning and I'm able to focus on the activities of the day with more focus than usual. With the exception of the second or third day of the medicine in which I had an intense bout of anxiety that lasted nearly an hour, I'm calm, able to organize my thoughts and words, interested in leaving the house, and in relatively zero pain!

Well, I am a bit uncomfortable from being constipated but that's nothing new. My colon has long held on too tight.

So, I don't lack emotional fortitude. It's an honest-to-goodness physical-brain thing. Which is at the same time comforting and disconcerting.

My doctor has said I don't need to take the medicine forever. My mind is already planning on when to try to get off of it. My other mind says slow down and ride the wave for a minute. Let your body rest. Let your mind find some new coping tools. Let it sink into your bones. Slow down!

Placebo or not, it feels good.

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