Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Peaceful Waiting

It's 3:30 am, that could be why I'm feeling peaceful. Wood's loud breathing woke me and the side effect was the theme of an intense dream, that I can't recall but only feel slightly, turned my brain on.

Leading up to this moment I've been weepy again. Feeling the tears bubbling at the surface, later becoming a waterfall, with little notice. My emotions are bigger than they have been in a while. I'm not "doing" much, remembering, thinking, acting very well. My intense hyperdrive energy has dwindled to a mere nothing. My heart and soul are trying to catch up with my body and mind - I'm not that person - I will not be that person - I'm beyond burned out - and it's okay!

Reinventing myself is proving a great challenge. It's weird to have few, if any, aspirations.

Still no word on the job. I will be okay either way, that much I know. Something will come along. I will be seen for the goodness in me. I will see it. I'm searching.

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